Bonjour mes amis. It seems that my last post had an unexpected side effect. Many of you wrote that you now felt depressed with your middle-class lives. My deepest apology as that was never my intention. I was simply trying to explain the angst and frustration that tormented me. I found Herb Payson's words much more profound than the trite and tired analogy of the hamster furiously scrambling on the wheel and getting no where that came to my mind.
If nothing else, I would hope that it would give you some insight as to why I was the way I was and what in God's name stirred me to me make such a dramatic and seemingly irrational change with my life. Well now you know. It comes out of an inner turmoil that I was for years unable to describe or define or understand, nor resolve expeditiously... that and the need to, for once, do something meaningful with my life besides build websites that no one really cared about.
Another thing that came to mind... Once I was able to extricate myself and then look in, I realized that in living in the Bay Area we are bombarded daily by visions of success as we are led to believe success should be (10,000 sq ft homes, hummers, country clubs, Lear jets, IPOs, etc.). Everyone has a name followed by a title or descriptor, ie: John who took two companies public; Mary, employee #5 at Google; Tim, who's worth $x-hundred million, etc.
We are also surrounded by some of the best and brightest and wealthiest and when we compare ourselves or our lives or our possessions to this, most can't help but slot themselves in the middle (or near the bottom as I did). Anywhere else in the world our lives would dare be labeled middle-class, nor would our temperament be considered malaise. With the exception of a few cities in the world, where would near million dollar homes or a salary well into the 6-figures be considered middle class? No where, as luck would have it, except for my own backyard. Which is why I had to make a change... I was tired of doing the best I possibly could and still feeling mediocre, like that damn hamster...
That being said... On to Paris! :-)