the Arachnid formerly known as Stumpy (Notes from Iraq)

From: scott marconda
To: cucina testa rossa
Subject: Re: So are you going to change stumpy's name...?
Date: Wed, 09 Feb 2005 07:09:33 +0000

…Having traded death by fire for death by "powerpoint", I have several meetings to engage over the next hours and days, but will keep in touch as time allows (which is infinately better than what was previously allowed).  Forgot what a "chow hall" was.  Funny thing.  Alcohol is verboten, BUT you can have "near-beer" for breakfast!

PS- We've heard from Stumpy's Producer and Lawyer.  In the future, he is to be referred to as "the Arachnid formerly known as 'Stumpy.'"  He's contacted the same publisher the Clinton's used and has a $1 advance on his book to be entitled, "10 Things Not To Do At Night When You're Missing A Leg - Covert Ops for Dummies".  Michael Moore has expressed interest in the movie rights as another vehicle for gun control.  I see it as a children's story with Tom Hanks as "Stumpy" and Harrison Ford as the well meaning, beef-jerky throwing, toothbrush wielding Marine.  Oliver Stone doesn't believe there was a single toothbrush, so we'll probably seek Coppola as director.

Comments

[Cathy]

Hi Laura - first I must tell you that I failed to heed your warning and I DID look up a picture of a camel spider (screeeeeech!), but strangely when I saw the title of this post I was just a teensy bit sad thinking that Stumpy had met with an untimely fate (it's early in the morning and the reference took a couple of seconds to hit me). I guess I'm relieved...

[Giao]

Your buddy has a great sense of humor. Yay for that!